Finally. Nick turns the reigns over to the real football expert. So don’t worry, you won’t see the Colts in this week’s power rankings. And as I write this – you probably won’t see the Cowboys*. But who knows, there’s a lot of game left and I’m running this show. I might feel a little irrational as I start rounding out the Top 10. And because I don’t do this often, I thought I would use some help from an all-time classic. One of the most underrated, possibly best football movie ever. Of course I am not talking about Rudy. I’m talking about The Replacements.
And without further ado, this week’s Oh’s Knows NFL Power Rankings.. According to me:
1. Denver Broncos (11-2) LW (2)
McGinty: “You’re looking at a 65-yard field goal here.”
Nigel ‘The Leg’ Gruff: “You just hold the ball, Shane, and I’ll kick the bloody piss out of it.”
If you have a guy on your team who can kick a 64 yarder, you’ve number one in our book. I guess it doesn’t hurt that the Broncos keep winning and keep getting a little bit of help from some other top teams around the league. The Broncos are by far the best team in the AFC and we sure aren’t worried about Peyton playing in the cold. The only question I have about the Broncos – when will Matt Prater turn his jersey number to 64? He has to right?
2. Seattle Seahawks (11-2) LW (1)
McGinty: “Like a duck on the pond. On the surface everything looks calm, but beneath the water those little feet are churning a mile a minute.”
What do we make of these Seahawks? If they play at home. They win. If they go on the road – well, who knows. The Colts was a bad loss, but the 49ers are tough division matchup and we might be able to let that one slide. They’ve got to be worried about playing on the road at all during the playoffs so let’s hope whatever happened this past Sunday doesn’t happen again. Because I’d sure like to a chilly Broncos v. Seahawks Super Bowl.
3. New Orleans Saints (10-3) LW (3)
McGinty: “You know what seperates the winners from the losers?”
Falco: “The score.”
McGinty: “No, getting back on the horse after getting kicked in the teeth.”
That might as well have been Sean Payton talking to a slow Drew Brees before the season started. These dudes were given the closest thing one team might see to the Death Penalty. They didn’t care. You know when you give coaches a bunch of time to plan for a game. Sometimes the more time the better for a coach. That coach would be Sean Payton. He had an entire year to dissect the entire NFL. Oh and it also helps he has a not slow Drew Brees tossing the ball to Jimmy Graham. Yeah that helps too.
4. New England Patriots (10-3) LW (5)
McGinty: “Falco! If I had wanted Cochran to have the ball I would have called it that way!”
Falco: “I read blitz.”
McGinty: “Bullshit! I put the game in your hands… you got scared.”
Falco: “I READ BLITZ.”
McGinty: “Winners always want the ball… when the game is on the line.”
You know who isn’t afraid to have the game in his hands? Tommy Brady. Holy shit. Did anyone doubt that the Patriots would win that game against Cleveland down 2 scores with about 3 minutes left? I sure didn’t. Yeah they had a onside kick to recover, but let’s be serious – you just knew it would work out for Brady to get the ball in his hands and make magic. It seems like ever since the return of Gronk they are looking like an elite team again.. Now that Gronk is gone? Well we’ll see.
5. San Francisco 49ers (9-4) LW (6)
McGinty: “The truth is, you guys have been given something that every athlete dreams of: a second chance. And you’re afraid of blowing it. We all are. But now our fear is shared, and we can overcome it together.”
The truth is the 49ers think they can make it back to the Super Bowl. And whose to say they couldn’t? They already beat the Seahawks this year, the one stable NFC team that poses the biggest threat. If they continue to feed the rock to Frank Gore, and their big, big scary defense plays well I don’t see any reason why they couldn’t get hot and make it back to the Super Bowl.
6. Cincinnati Bengals (9-4) LW (8)
Falco: “Hey coach, can I ask you a question?”
McGinty: “Yeah, shoot.”
Falco: “Why me?”
McGinty: “I look at you and I see two men: the man you are, and the man you ought to be. Someday those two will meet. Should make for a hell of a football player.”
As far as I know the only reason people haven’t crowned the Bengals the best team in the league is because of Andy Dalton. He’s showed signed of greatness. And then he’s showed signs of Brandon Weeden. They’ve got a stellar defense, a Top 5 wide receiver in AJ Green and a nice little dual threat running game in Bernard and the Law Firm. If the current Dalton can meet ought to be Dalton, watch out world.
7. Kansas City Chiefs (10-3) LW (7)
McGinty: “Hell of a game, that Sugar Bowl. What’d you lose that by, forty points?”
Falco: “That would be forty-five.”
McGinty: “Sometimes a game like that really sticks with you. You never shake it off.”
Falco: “Got three concussions to prove it.”
McGinty: “That’s why girls don’t play the game.”
It sure won’t be fun to have the 3rd best record in the league and have a 5th seed in the playoffs having to go on the road for any and every chance to make a run to the big one. The Broncos didn’t pummel the Chiefs, but they did make short work of them. And every since that first loss they just haven’t been the same. It’s been a helluva year for Big Red but I sure wouldn’t be planning a trip to New York anytime soon if I was a Chief.
8. Carolina Panthers (9-4) LW (4)
Falco: “I think I’m just going to lie here for a moment and collect my thoughts.”
Bateman: “Work shit out, right?”
Before Cam Newton and the Panthers mad the trip over to Nawlins, they were the hottest team in the league. After falling back to greatness and getting picked apart by Drew Brees – it’s okay it happens to a lot of people. They Panthers need to collect their thoughts. Cam is a superstar quarterback, and they’ve got some weapons. But something isn’t exactly clicking and they should be collecting something and praying to someone that they win that final Wild Card.
9. Philadelphia Eagles (8-5) LW (NR)
Martel: “Nobody can beat Dallas with these losers!”
Falco: “I can.”
Footsteps Falco himself Nick Foles can! Well to be honest anybody can beat Dallas, Josh McCown just proved that to everybody. But if ANYONE can do it, it’s most certainly Nick Foles. To be fair, he might not even have to beat Dallas. And to be more fair he isn’t playing with a bunch of losers. The highly anticipated Chip Kelly’s Philadelphia offense seems to finally be clicking. And as long as they don’t trip, they’ve got the NFC East wrapped up.
10. Arizona Cardinals (8-5) LW (NR)
Falco: “Gentlemen. It’s been an honor to share the field of battle with you.”
I’m not going to lie. The only thing I know about the Cardinals is that
they’ve got had a stellar defense before Tyrann Mathieu tore his ACL this past week. Yeah, yeah I know he’s not the whole defense, but he was looking like he might wrap himself up a Defensive Rookie of the Year Award and that’s a big loss. I’m still trying to get over the fact that Carson Palmer is the quarterback of this team. Hell when I heard they had a winning record I thought Kurt Warner made a comeback.
*I definitely jinxed the Cowboys. I am the reason why they got blown out by the Bears. Damnit.
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