Texas This Weekend // Best and Worst Paint Schemes

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These guys and gal are back from their sunny vacations, and we don’t know who looks better – there glistening tans and bleach blond hair or these super fast machines we call cars. The answer, always. THESE CARS!

We are heading to Texas this weekend where everything is bigger and better! The one weekend out of the year where my car isn’t the best looking or worst looking in this great state and where I instantly becoming the 44th best driver in the state. The great ones always know when it is time to put a side their greatness.

As always, we pick our favorite drivers like girls pick which team is going to win the NCAA tournament. Their jerseys. And we get pretty amped up when the paint schemes come out. Because I like NASCAR. And I like Design. So when the two come together.. “Oh word?”

THE BEST OF THE BEST

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Kyle Larson will drive the No. 42 Axe White Label Chevrolet.

You’ve heard the old saying, “Always wear white after April Fool’s Day.”

Kyle Larson is BACK. And he has earned the top spot on this week’s paint preview simply because he took the initiative to film it – then post it on the internet. Don’t care who you are, (yes even you Carl Edwards) you do that and you’ve won me over.

It also doesn’t hurt that this car looks sharp. Some people would say that bringing a white car to a motor speedway is like wearing them white boat shoes to a mud wrestling match.

Kyle Larson says to them people – “You’re welcome.”

original-2Michael McDowell will drive the No. 95 Thrivent Financial Ford.

thats-high-praiseFor a split second I thought this was a Jeff Gordon car. Now that’s HIGH PRAISE!

But it’s not. Jeff. Gordon’s car. It is Mr. Michael McDowell’s No. 95 Thrivent Financial Ford brother and oh boy is that a sweet looking ride.

You normally don’t see such good looking cars/people/things with such a high jersey number that look so pretty. Here’s to you Mr. Michael McDowell – representing for the little guy. Err, big guy.

original-1Danica Patrick will drive the No. 10 Tax ACT / GoDaddy Chevrolet.

The half and half paint scheme is really working here. And not only because it has to. It actually does.

Danica Patrick basically strong armed convinced TaxACT with a dominate performance at Martinsville. How could they not stay on? Danica is having a pretty great year and other than the upwards of $750,000 it costs to sponsor one NASCAR race – TaxACT decided to go with the hood.

This car looks like an extremely well designed car put through the “NASCAR Thunder 2004” design feature. That’s a compliment I swear. Those things are hard.

I like it, and you should too. (Seriously Ricky just say you like it)

THE WORST OF THE REST

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Jamie McMurray will drive the No. 1 McDonalds Chevrolet.

This is just lazy. It kind of looks like someone just figured out how to use the gradient tool in Illustrator. Just lazy.

I’m not messing around here and getting straight to the point.

What’s the deal McDonalds? You have all the money in the world. You have all the time to throw together that weird, patting yourselves on the pack, we care about America but we’re just not so sorry your kids are fat commercial. And then there is this?

What’d you do pay with Lovin’? How’d that work out? BECAUSE I’VE GONE TO MCDONALD’S A “SUPER SIZE ME” DOCUMENTARY WORTH AMOUNT OF TIMES TO TRY AND PAY WITH A PHONE CALL TO MY MOM AND NOTHING. NOTHING!!!

But this isn’t about me..

HONORABLE MENTION

original-4David Ragan will drive the No. 18 Interstate Batteries Toyota.

For those of you scratching your head – this is the Honorable Mention section, not The Worst Of The Worst. (Not even The Wurst of the Worst)

Reason being, way back when I judged this exact same paint scheme as “The Best of the Rest”. That was when I was young, immature and on a positive outlook on life binge. But as I see it again.. I scratch my head.

Call it, nostalgia. I will always love the No. 18 Interstate Batteries car until the day you die. You can thank Bobby Labonte, my all-time favorite NASCAR driver for that. So it is hard for me to knock this car, NO MATTER WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE.

That’s why it makes it to the Honorable Mention section. It is honorably not a great looking car. So I have to just mention that.

That is all.

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Sprint Unlimited This Weekend // Best&Worst Paint Schemes

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The NASCAR season officially/unofficially starts this weekend. The Sprint Unlimited Race at Daytona is Saturday night. 75 laps. 187.5 miles. Ca’mon. And because we pick our favorite drivers like girls pick which team is going to win the NCAA tournament, we get pretty amped up when the paint schemes come out. (Oh girls pick their favorite jerseys, not “student-athlete’s” cars – those are all black Mercedes’, that would get redundant. But it seems as if every year some girl wins the NCAA Bracket Pool creating a shit storm, but we will save that for another day)

Best of the Best: Dale Jr. in the #88 National Guard Chevrolet

Just America. People who don’t watch much NASCAR always wonder, why Dale Jr.? Why is he so popular? He doesn’t win races does he? Well.. He doesn’t win much. But when you stick him in an American car like this one, you really think people aren’t going to root for him? Plus, if you aren’t going to win you might as well look good doing it.

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2nd Best: Brad Keselowski in the #2 Miller Lite Ford

Have you ever drank Miller Lite? Gross I know right. But.. I may start drinking Miller Lite again just because of the old school can/paint scheme they are using for I don’t know how long. Hopefully all year. Now Brad’s car is all Rusty Wallace retro and it sure does look sharp. Who knows it may even pick Brad up a few new Twitter followers.

Not the worst but ehh..: Denny Hamlin in the #11 FedEx Express ToyotaScreen Shot 2014-02-13 at 10.13.42 AM

Maybe because it’s a Toyota. It’s probably because it’s Denny Hamlin. Definitely because I am a UPS guy. (Is anyone a UPS guy?) But Denny’s #11 brings me back to Jeff Gordon’s “Rainbow Warrior” car. A little.. I’m not sure the politically correct term for, fruity, but it’s just not doing it for me. This is 2014 guy. I know we aren’y flying around in cars yet. But you can paint yours a little more modern.

Check out all released paint schemes here: Paint Scheme Preview: Sprint Unlimited

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