Too much of the filth you see on the internet is negative. Don’t get me wrong I am no hero, but one thing I can do – NOTHING BUT THE BEST OF THE WEEKEND! That’s right, no worsts. If you are looking for worsts go check out your local German Sausage Haus. #NailedIt
This we are are in Las Vegas. But you know that, because you read my amazing Power Rankings rundown with the help of our friends – heist films. If there’s anything I know about Las Vegas, I’ve heard it from my parents. And what I’ve heard is that it is all flash! Look at the hauler parade they just had the other day, shutting down the strip just to show off 40 some 18-wheelers. That’s ba son. That’s NASCAR in Sin City. “How about that ride in?”
So if the haulers are all flash, the cars gotta be too right? Let’s just say yes. After we get this no-fun, politically correct, not being negative article I will tell you how I really feel about the cars designs this season..
They’re AWESOME! Wink. Wink.
As always, we pick our favorite drivers like girls pick which team is going to win the NCAA tournament. Jersey colors. But because these guys and Danica don’t really wear jerseys, we pick em by their cars. And we get pretty amped up when the paint schemes come out. Because I like NASCAR. And I like Design. So when the two come together.. “Oh word?”
So if you can’t win, you might as well look good!
THE BEST OF THE BEST
Jimmie Johnson will drive the No. 48 Kobalt Tools Chevrolet
Who says NASCAR isn’t in touch with the sophisticated/art loving/modern bigger world of today? This car reminds me of a beautiful minimalistic series that one might find at MoMa or at La Louvre. Did I just compare Jimmie Johnson’s car to the Mona Lisa? No. But one day, when the French discover NASCAR – again – you never know where a stock car might end up.
I like this car because like JJ, it’s all business. He just came off an impressive win in Atlanta, coming off a less than impressive 2014 year. Jimmie doesn’t need any bells or whistles to remind you who he is or what he’s done. (Won 6 Championships). Just give him something fresh and clean that may also resemble his sponsor this week and he will put that thing in La Louvre. Or at least victory lane.
You guys Hendrick Motorsports just gets it right. It is definitely why they have won 15 championships since 1995. It is absolutely why they own every engine you see powering these stock cars around them ovals. And it is emphatically why they made it in to this best of the best preview for Las Vegas – twice, back to back. Emphatically. THE PAINT. They just get it you guys. What is it? It is the paint. Nothing to crazy, nothing in your face (talking to you Bug-B-Gon). Looks clean, sleek, modern, fast, and clean and nice.
It’s not to hard to be positive still. I promise. This is easy. I mean just ask Kasey Kahne. (Oh boy).
THE BEST OF THE REST
Joey Logano will drive the No. 22 Penzoil Ford
Joey Logano’s car may not be the greatest looking from a design standpoint. But who am I to judge? I just recently put a left shark on a wrestling mat to promote one of the biggest duals of the year. Yeah. I did that.
Joey. You are fast. You are furious. (I hate myself for that). You are driving perhaps the weirdest car of the weekend. And for that I applaud you.
Erik Jones will drive the No. 20 Interstate Batteries Toyota
Wait scratch that Joey.
This car is weird. And I love it. This one is near and dear to my heart. My favorite driver of all-time is Bobby Labonte. I have an amazing Bobby Labonte Interstate Batteries hat that I wore to my first ever Nationwide (RIP. Too soon?) Race and heard not my first ever curse words because everyone thought it was a Kyle Busch hat. I loved it.
I love this design. It is different. It is catches your eye. I’m sure once it hits top speed this weekend in Vegas it will look like a some James Cameron type Avatar – wait for it, AVACAR! This thing is sweet. It is no Hendrick Motorsports (well not fully – engine guys), but if you can’t beat ’em, out paint ’em.
Carl Edwards will drive the No. 19 Comcast Business Toyota
Carl Edwards just wanted to remind people that he still has speed – I guess. The honorable mention has been a fun time honoring and dishonoring (not today!) people for a myriad of ideas they have. Whether it is mounting the tarantula from “Home Alone” on the front of your car or writing out “Drive Safe You Guys At The End Of The Day Safety Is First, Teamwork Is Second – Well More Like 1B, We Want Everyone To Get Home For Supper Tonight” on the side of your car. (It was a small font).
This message is spot on. This car, Ripley’s Believe It Or Not is “Built For Speed” ladies and gentleman. Just the message you want to send as you roll up to the start line. Next time just don’t forget to credit your source.*