Texas This Weekend // Best and Worst Paint Schemes

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These guys and gal are back from their sunny vacations, and we don’t know who looks better – there glistening tans and bleach blond hair or these super fast machines we call cars. The answer, always. THESE CARS!

We are heading to Texas this weekend where everything is bigger and better! The one weekend out of the year where my car isn’t the best looking or worst looking in this great state and where I instantly becoming the 44th best driver in the state. The great ones always know when it is time to put a side their greatness.

As always, we pick our favorite drivers like girls pick which team is going to win the NCAA tournament. Their jerseys. And we get pretty amped up when the paint schemes come out. Because I like NASCAR. And I like Design. So when the two come together.. “Oh word?”

THE BEST OF THE BEST

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Kyle Larson will drive the No. 42 Axe White Label Chevrolet.

You’ve heard the old saying, “Always wear white after April Fool’s Day.”

Kyle Larson is BACK. And he has earned the top spot on this week’s paint preview simply because he took the initiative to film it – then post it on the internet. Don’t care who you are, (yes even you Carl Edwards) you do that and you’ve won me over.

It also doesn’t hurt that this car looks sharp. Some people would say that bringing a white car to a motor speedway is like wearing them white boat shoes to a mud wrestling match.

Kyle Larson says to them people – “You’re welcome.”

original-2Michael McDowell will drive the No. 95 Thrivent Financial Ford.

thats-high-praiseFor a split second I thought this was a Jeff Gordon car. Now that’s HIGH PRAISE!

But it’s not. Jeff. Gordon’s car. It is Mr. Michael McDowell’s No. 95 Thrivent Financial Ford brother and oh boy is that a sweet looking ride.

You normally don’t see such good looking cars/people/things with such a high jersey number that look so pretty. Here’s to you Mr. Michael McDowell – representing for the little guy. Err, big guy.

original-1Danica Patrick will drive the No. 10 Tax ACT / GoDaddy Chevrolet.

The half and half paint scheme is really working here. And not only because it has to. It actually does.

Danica Patrick basically strong armed convinced TaxACT with a dominate performance at Martinsville. How could they not stay on? Danica is having a pretty great year and other than the upwards of $750,000 it costs to sponsor one NASCAR race – TaxACT decided to go with the hood.

This car looks like an extremely well designed car put through the “NASCAR Thunder 2004” design feature. That’s a compliment I swear. Those things are hard.

I like it, and you should too. (Seriously Ricky just say you like it)

THE WORST OF THE REST

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Jamie McMurray will drive the No. 1 McDonalds Chevrolet.

This is just lazy. It kind of looks like someone just figured out how to use the gradient tool in Illustrator. Just lazy.

I’m not messing around here and getting straight to the point.

What’s the deal McDonalds? You have all the money in the world. You have all the time to throw together that weird, patting yourselves on the pack, we care about America but we’re just not so sorry your kids are fat commercial. And then there is this?

What’d you do pay with Lovin’? How’d that work out? BECAUSE I’VE GONE TO MCDONALD’S A “SUPER SIZE ME” DOCUMENTARY WORTH AMOUNT OF TIMES TO TRY AND PAY WITH A PHONE CALL TO MY MOM AND NOTHING. NOTHING!!!

But this isn’t about me..

HONORABLE MENTION

original-4David Ragan will drive the No. 18 Interstate Batteries Toyota.

For those of you scratching your head – this is the Honorable Mention section, not The Worst Of The Worst. (Not even The Wurst of the Worst)

Reason being, way back when I judged this exact same paint scheme as “The Best of the Rest”. That was when I was young, immature and on a positive outlook on life binge. But as I see it again.. I scratch my head.

Call it, nostalgia. I will always love the No. 18 Interstate Batteries car until the day you die. You can thank Bobby Labonte, my all-time favorite NASCAR driver for that. So it is hard for me to knock this car, NO MATTER WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE.

That’s why it makes it to the Honorable Mention section. It is honorably not a great looking car. So I have to just mention that.

That is all.

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Race for the Chase: Kevin Harvick // 3 Days ’til Daytona

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Kevin Harvick — #4

  • Team: Stewart Haas Racing / Chevy
  • Wins In 2013: 4
  • Last Year Chase Result: 3rd
  • Kevin’s 2013 In A NutshellThe Pride of the Yankees (1942)

Lou Gehrig: Today, I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the Earth.

Why Kevin Harvick will not win the chase in 2014:nscs_kevin_harvick_budweiser.png.main

New team. New crew chief. No longer the top dog on his team. New crew chief. One of his best friend is his boss. Short temper. That about sums it up.

Why Kevin Harvick will win the chase in 2014:

Like Lou – no Kevin doesn’t have an extremely rare disease that will soon be named after him. Like Lou, Kevin will be considering himself the luckiest man on the face of the earth when he rolls off the line at Daytona. Why’s that? He’s no longer at RCR. He’s racing for his good pal Tony Stewart. I don’t think Kevin has any hatred towards Richard Childress, but it was pretty obviously that things weren’t working out there. Don’t get me wrong, things on the track were working out great. Kevin has finished 3rd in the Chase 3 times in the past 4 years. He had times was the best driver on the track. And at other times one of the biggest hot heads on the track. So things we working out at RCR for Kevin, but also were extremely irritating as seen by that awkward end of the year lecture he gave the bosses grand children. Now things are starting out fresh. And you know what? I think everyone, even in the Stewart Haas garage – are scared shitless. Harv is one of a few drivers who found a new home in 2014, but like most drivers, he wasn’t in the need of a new ride. A better team. A better crew chief. But he got one. He got all of the above. And who the hell knows what is going to happen! This is as good of a year as any for Happy to win it all. He’s been close in the past. In the very recent past. Now that he will indeed finally be Happy, the possibilities are endless the #29 — er, the #4 car. It’s going to take me a while to get use to seeing that. And now I have to buy a new hat. Damnit. Least he’s still got the Budweiser ride! And isn’t it going to look so pretty in Miami with that Chase trophy on top of it?

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