If You Aint First You’re Second

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Published: March 10th, 2015

Kevin Harvick has had a pretty good last dozen races. But let’s not go back to last year where he won his first championship. Let’s go back to the start of this year. Where he’s done nothing but place in the Top 2 every race.

2nd at Daytona.

2nd at Atlanta.

1st at Las Vegas.*

UPDATES/NEWFLASH/BREAKING:

1st at Phoenix.

2nd at Fontana.

*And did I mention we are heading to Phoenix this weekend where he’s won 4 of the last 5 races?

I really think that only means one thing. Kevin Harvick will place in the Top 2 for every race the rest of this year and here are FOUR REASON WHY.

1. He’s on pace to finish 1.666666667th.

Let’s just call it 1st or 2nd. Someone told this guy that if you ain’t first your last (Ricky Bobby’s father), and Kevin said to hell with that. If you ain’t first your second.

I use to always laugh when in the 4th game of the year Sammy Sosa would have hit 5 home runs and someone would have to say, “Well Bob you know that puts Sammy on pace for 202 home runs this year.”

Shut up Bob, and Bob’s co-host, a young me would alway say.

Well not anymore! I’m a lot older, wiser, unfortunately not taller than I was when I was 13 – but I’m buying it this time Bob. A pace is a pace, and like that silly show on ESPN.. Numbers never lie!

Don’t forget to spay and neuter your pets.

2. He’s been keeping it 100.

Do you follow this guy on social media? Every since he’s won that 2014 Sprint Cup Championship he’s been having so much freaking fun and he’s so freaking happy. And Happy is his nickname! He’s taking it to a whole new level!

For example: Mini Golf

Exhibit B: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

And number 3: Big Wheels

See. Keeping it 100. He’s happy and having fun. And did I mention he is happy?

3. Hear me out – 2 + 2 x 1 = 4.

I’ve seen that Jim Carrey non-comedy. It’s called “The Number 23” to be exact.

In it Jim, becomes obsessed with the number 23, Michael Jordan and the Smokin’ Joes car back at Fontana in 1997.

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I made up only one of those things I swear. Now let’s use Jim’s theory from the based on a true story tale to prove our theory.

2 + 2 x 1 = 4

2 + 2 = 4

1 + 2 + 1 = 4

1 + 1 + 1 + 1 = 4

That’s 4 ways to get to 4 only using 1’s and 2’s. You guys I know you’ll find this hard to believe but this was a bullshit theory until I just pulled this out of my ass and scared myself. I’m so right. This is nuts!

Wait how does “The Number 23” end? It was a happy ending right? Oh boy.

4. He’s the best driver right now.

Right now. Like today. Now. (March 2015 between the 3rd and 4th race of the year in case you are reading this in the smithsonian in the near distant future).

Joey is fast, damn fast. But Joey is young.

Jimmie is the GOAT. But Jimmie has found a bad batch of Lucky Charms.

Jeff wants to go out on top, this is his swan song. But Jeff is an amazing driver on what is probably the most amazing team of drivers ever assembled.

Denny, Carl, Kyle (but which one?!), Greg, Ryan, Bad Brad, Easy B and DJ Craze don’t have names that start with the letter J. But that’s okay we like them anyway.

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Kevin is damn fast. He had his run of bad luck last year and he still won last year! And the pressure is there, but he’s in a win-win situation.

If he wins this year he wins. If he loses this year, he wins. Yes my editors were confused too. Who wins back to back? Freak of natures like Jimmie do. No one is suppose to. Harv is playing with house money and his banker, Mr. Rodney Childers is one of the best in the business.

What does Harv have to lose this year? He’s fast and he’s not suppose to win. So why not spend most of the summer in victory lane?

Or the other place drivers go who don’t go to victory lane but still finish top 2 go.

Hey I promised first OR second remember?

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A fake interview with the real Phoenix winner // Kevin Harvick

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ME: So you didn’t waste much time to getting to the winning thing here with Stewart-Haas Racing..

KH: You know it didn’t take long to fit in here. There’s a bunch of great guys. Tony and I have been great pals for a long time now and it’s just a good fit. You know I don’t think I would have made the jump to SHR without feeling comfortable about it.

ME: And you didn’t just win, 224 out of 312 laps..

KH: Yeah we led a lot of laps. But the only lap that matters is at the end of the race. I’m not sure exactly why it is but I love coming here to Phoenix but we run well. I love running down on the low groove and passing on that apron it’s just fun. We had a lot of fun out there today and I couldn’t have done it without my guys and especially Rodney.

ME: It felt like you absolutely crushed every single restart, until the last one of the day when it mattered the most. What’s up with that?

KH: Yeah I don’t know what happened there. We had been doing really well and I think getting some help from Joey on a few. That’s something I’ve been working a lot on, trying to get right – you can win or lose a race all on that restart. Luckily that last one didn’t cost me too much I don’t think.

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ME: Have they given you a VIP parking spot for your camper at Phoenix yet, or a golden star on the sidewalk somewhere? Maybe all you can eat hot dogs..

KH: All you can eat nachos would be nice. They don’t have a camper parking spot for me yet but that would be nice, maybe that’s something I can work on for when I come back in the fall.

ME: Good call. Let’s work on that. You lapped Austin Dillon shortly after you took the lead. Did you think about putting him into the wall at all?

KH: It didn’t really cross my mind. You know what I said last year is in the past, I’ve talked to Richard about it and Ty and Austin and they’re good kids. I think it got blown out of proportion a little bit and I wouldn’t get back into them during a race I don’t think. Especially that #3 car. It’s pretty fancy looking isn’t?

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ME: Oh it sure is. I kept waiting for you to thank Richard Childress and the RCR team in victory lane. Did you almost slip at all or feel like thanking him anyway?

KH: It was close. I mean I said it 20 sometimes over 13 years, it was kind of a habit. I did a little practicing in front of the mirror though.

ME: So you feel good about staying and working for your buddy Tony?

KH: As long as he keeps his hands off my wife, I feel pretty good about working for Tony for quite a while.

ME: Would you rather have a Jimmy Johns bath or a Budweiser bath?

KH: Either one. As long as that #4 Chevy is in victory lane.

KevinHarvick

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Race for the Chase: Kevin Harvick // 3 Days ’til Daytona

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Kevin Harvick — #4

  • Team: Stewart Haas Racing / Chevy
  • Wins In 2013: 4
  • Last Year Chase Result: 3rd
  • Kevin’s 2013 In A NutshellThe Pride of the Yankees (1942)

Lou Gehrig: Today, I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the Earth.

Why Kevin Harvick will not win the chase in 2014:nscs_kevin_harvick_budweiser.png.main

New team. New crew chief. No longer the top dog on his team. New crew chief. One of his best friend is his boss. Short temper. That about sums it up.

Why Kevin Harvick will win the chase in 2014:

Like Lou – no Kevin doesn’t have an extremely rare disease that will soon be named after him. Like Lou, Kevin will be considering himself the luckiest man on the face of the earth when he rolls off the line at Daytona. Why’s that? He’s no longer at RCR. He’s racing for his good pal Tony Stewart. I don’t think Kevin has any hatred towards Richard Childress, but it was pretty obviously that things weren’t working out there. Don’t get me wrong, things on the track were working out great. Kevin has finished 3rd in the Chase 3 times in the past 4 years. He had times was the best driver on the track. And at other times one of the biggest hot heads on the track. So things we working out at RCR for Kevin, but also were extremely irritating as seen by that awkward end of the year lecture he gave the bosses grand children. Now things are starting out fresh. And you know what? I think everyone, even in the Stewart Haas garage – are scared shitless. Harv is one of a few drivers who found a new home in 2014, but like most drivers, he wasn’t in the need of a new ride. A better team. A better crew chief. But he got one. He got all of the above. And who the hell knows what is going to happen! This is as good of a year as any for Happy to win it all. He’s been close in the past. In the very recent past. Now that he will indeed finally be Happy, the possibilities are endless the #29 — er, the #4 car. It’s going to take me a while to get use to seeing that. And now I have to buy a new hat. Damnit. Least he’s still got the Budweiser ride! And isn’t it going to look so pretty in Miami with that Chase trophy on top of it?

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Stewart-Haas Racing is going to be dominant in 2014

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I wanted to show this video. But this other one will do. Either way you get the gist of it. Stewart Haas Racing is going to dominant in 2014. We won’t go in to much detail, MORE TO COME IN FEBRUARY. (Now that’s a teaser)

Smoke returns from his leg injury. Dominant.

Happy gets a fresh start after what could only be described as an awkward but impressive last year at RCR. Dominant.

Un-Happy(?). Err, the elder Busch brother gets his hands back on some first class racing equipment. Dominant.

And Danica is still really revved up about Jay Mohr poking fun at her during the 2013 NASCAR Award Show. Ehh. Dominant? Maybe.

Hey. No matter what happens, it’s going to be one hell of an interesting year with a lot of great press conferences and soundbites coming out of the Stewart Haas Racing camp. Ca’mon.

Best and Worst of the Weekend

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7dd87c53ea80bb25420f6a7067007e60Nicholas:

BEST // Iowa Hawkeyes double up, wins in Basketball Friday night and Football on Saturday. In heaven there is no beer.

WORST // Colts lose 38-8 to the 3-6 St. Louis Rams at home. Probably! – moving them out of the Top 5 in the Oh’s Knows Power Rankings.

photo (20)Adam:

BEST // Hawks basketball wins Friday night. Celtics beat the Heat on the night after the Hawks beat Purdue in football on Saturday. Fingers crossed Fantasy Football win on Sunday, followed by a Kevin Harvick #NASCAR victory and Budweiser bath after Carl Edwards runs out of gas. Capped by a Dallas Cowboys.. 

WORST // No worst. Possible best weekend ever. Let’s see how Monday morning goes before we call it..

LISTEN: Oh’s Knows #8 // Stay or Go 10-6-13

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RomoAdam and Nick are back and open up the show talking about the NFL – the Colts won and the Cowboys disappoint, again. They then briefly talk NASCAR and the Budweiser bath that happened today as well as the rough weekend that took place for the Iowa Hawkeyes. They then play a game of “Should he stay or should he go?” including Kirk Ferentz, Jon Gruden and Miley Cyrus. They then wrap up the show looking ahead to the ACL Music Festival in 5 days by giving you their Top 5 bands they are most looking forward to seeing!

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Nick is most looking forward to seeing “Noah and the Whale” come ACL Music Festival this coming weekend. Also can’t remember who Bear Bryant is, moved to 3-3 on the season predicting the Iowa Hawkeyes.

Adam is most looking forward to seeing “Grimes” come ACL Music Festival in 5 days. Also couldn’t remember the New England Patriots head coach’s name (it’s Bill Belichick obviously), moved to 6-0 on the season predicting the Iowa Hawkeyes. EXPERT!

Stay tuned next weekend as we give you a day by day recap from ACL Festival full of drunken ramblings, singings and plenty of pictures!