10 Things We Learned From The Grammy’s Last Night

Standard

1) Jay-Z and Beyonce are the world’s most powerful couple. And we totally have to throw out or redefine the phrase, “Born with a silver spoon in your mouth.” Now that Blu Ivy drinks milk out of Jay’s gold Grammy.

2) Pharrell William’s needs a new, different hat. Something. Speaks really good French robot talk though.

3) Try dancing while you are at the Grammy’s, and you will get hosed on Twitter.

 

4) I like Lorde. You know you like Lorde. But apparently she is super emo and no one else was ever emo when they were 17. Oh yeah, and what you were doing when you were 17? I bet it wasn’t winning Grammy’s and more of popping zits and rewriting your AOL profile.

5) Metallica still rocks out super hard even with Chinese pianist Lang Lang.

6) Poor Kacey Musgraves had to follow up Kendrick and Imagine Dragons. Not a good idea. Is super hot. A very good idea.

7) Twitter is fantastic during awards shows.

 8) WHO REALLY IS DAFT PUNK?!

– Hanson?

– Paul McCartney and Ringo Star?

– What’s left of NSYNC?

– Queen Latifah and Madonna?

– Steven Tyler and Lady Steven Tyler?

9) Chrissy Teigen owns life and Twitter, always.

10) Just Timberlake wasn’t at the Grammy’s because he was at every commercial that took place during the Grammy’s.

I only watch Documentaries, and Trash TV // SOMM

Standard

Most of the time I watch trash television. But not always. Because luckily, television is getting better. But a long time ago I made the proclamation that “I only watch Documentaries, and trash TV.” So today we bring you another of many documentary reviews to come. Cheers!81hQRQZmHIL._SL1500_

TITLE: SOMM

RUN TIME: 94 minutes

AVAILABLE ON: Netflix

RELEASE DATE: 2012

BACKSTORY: Have you ever wanted to be an expert at something? I have. Not necessarily wine, but after watching SOMM any time I go to a fancy restaurant I act as if I know what the hell I am talking about. I don’t. I can’t tell you the difference between a Cab or a Pinot. I mean until just a few years ago I might not even of known that you chill white wines but never ever do that to a red wine. But after SOMM, I want to know more and more about wine. I want to try and be half as knowledgeable about wine as a Master Sommelier is. This documentary follows a handful of guys as they train for a year straight to know every single thing there is to know about wine. Take one sip – oh yeah, that’s from France. What part of France you say? The southern valley. What year was it? Oh definitely 2007, there were heavy rains that year. It’s maddening to see how hard these guys study and learn about wine. With less than 200 Master Sommeliers in the world, it is sure one tall task and one hell of an honor. And it is 100% sure that I will never ever become one. But if you enjoy wine, and want to know just a little bit more about it – watch this documentary, before the wine shortage next year. It will make you respect the drink even more. A very interesting, entertaining and funny documentary, perfect for a nice bottle of Rose, maybe a cheese plate and a cuddle session with that special person of yours. It may not be the best documentary you’ve ever seen. But it will inspire you, maybe, to want to be a master at something. Anything. Maybe not wine. But something.

IT’S DEFINITELY BETTER THAN: Hot Coffee

BUT NOT BETTER THAN: Super Size Me

GRADE: B

Check us out on Facebook

Follow us on Twitter

Listen to past pods on SoundCloud

Parks and Rec on Hiatus? I don’t think so.. But maybe?

Standard

Hiatus: a gap or interruption in space, time, or continuity; a break.

The other night, as I tucked my dog into bed at 1:30am and started to fire up Netflix to watch as much of a Parks and Recreation episode I had already seen for as long as possible, I decided to check the twitter and see if there was anything worthwhile going on that I needed to know before I dreamt away.

I came across a tweet from a girl I may or may not know that read:

“BRING BACK PARKS AND RECREATION. #thisisanoutrage http://www.vulture.com/2013/10/nbc-has-quietly-put-parks-and-recreation-on-hiatus.html”

I immediately clicked the link and began to read. Cry. Yell and want to know more.

For those of you who didn’t read the article. It goes a little something like this.. Cliff notes version.

Screen Shot 2013-10-23 at 12.44.30 AM

Basically – Parks and Rec would immediately put on hiatus. Due to terrible NBC shows be cancelled, no more The Office and people for some reason enjoying The Voice, Parks and Rec would be put on hold.

Over the next few months to close out the year, there may – if we’re lucky, be a total of 4 new episodes of Parks and Rec. Devastation. If you are familiar with the show Community, you know how this feels.parks-and-recreation-amy-poehlerjpg-48b5cd31c4b82d50_large

Basically the moral of the story, according to Josef Adalian and Vulture who put out this article, NBC isn’t thrilled with the numbers Parks and Rec is bringing in and would really like people to try and watch Michael J. Fox’s show (fair) and that gay guy from Will and Grace’s new show (eh).

For those loyal fans like myself, who have loved Parks and Rec from day one – like me, you probably through your laptop on the ground, burned down your apartment and went on a drinking and drug fueled rampage around town.

Not all of that happened. But you know what I’m getting at.

Smash cut to the morning when the same person I was trying to start an online #SaveParksAndRec petition at 3am recommended I take a look at a few nice things the wonderful Adam Scott recently tweeted.

Screen Shot 2013-10-23 at 12.58.01 AM

So Parks and Rec isn’t on hiatus?

Technically. Wait – what does hiatus mean again?

Hiatus: a gap or interruption in space, time, or continuity; a break.

Technically. Parks and Rec is on a hiatus. There will be a few gaps between now and the next new episodes, and then another gap before new episodes, with one more gap between new episodes.

You follow?ronsworschach-ronswanson-rorschach-watchmen-01

Next airing of Parks and Recreation, will be on November 14th. And we get two. Win.

But after that it is going to be some time. Again, after learning what the word hiatus actually means I learned a few things.

  • I won’t be getting my fix of new Parks and Rec before the new year.
  • This is exactly what happened last year, which sounds right – but I can’t remember because I have slept since then.
  • Don’t compare shows to Community, because they got the ultimate ring around the rosey by NBC.

Moral of the story?

  1. Don’t believe everything you read on the internet.
  2. Don’t overact immediately to things you read on the internet.
  3. Probably not a good idea to aggressively tweet at NBC in the middle of the night after a few heavy beers about how bad they are at making decisions. And picking shows. NBC isn’t putting Parks and Recreation on a hiatus because it isn’t doing well, or because it’s going to get cancelled. It’s because they are not smart.

I get a little defensive about my television shows. Especially this one, which seems to not get the due it needs. It has a good following, maybe not a huge one, but a good one.

downloadAs I re-watch season 4 while I write this, it is important to know that while NBC plays reruns of Cee-Lo Green slipping girls drugs.. I mean The Voice, you can watch Parks and Recreation all day every day on repeat via Netflix.

Or listen to Nick Offerman do a podcast or two on the Nerdist. You won’t be disappointed. He’s got a new book out too. Fantastic.

Or watch Aubrey Plaza in Safety Not Guaranteed.

Or watch old SNL skits with Amy Poehler.

Or catch one of Aziz’s stand-up routines.

What I am trying to say is that is isn’t the end of the world peeps. I thought it was. But it was late. And I was drunk.

This happened before, we made it out alive, and we can do it again. I am now taking a hiatus.

Best TV Lawyer of All-Time? Let’s take a look.

Standard

I just finished another episode of Breaking Bad. Just cranking through these episodes as fast as I can. I’m ashamed to admit how many episodes I have watched in the past few days, but it happened. Just like the Holocaust.

Too soon?

I can’t be the only person who watches an unhealthy amount of Breaking Bad on NetFlix. Please don’t ruin anything for me. I haven’t come to the series finale yet, hiding from Twitter and human interaction as much as possible to avoid spoilers – I’ve heard a lot of people throw around things like, “Greatest Show Ever.”

I’d already have to agree.

Don’t worry, I won’t break it down season by season, but when I hear things like the greatest show ever it makes me think about some other great shows.curb-your-enthusiasm-larry-david-1

The Sopranos.

The Wire.

Curb Your Enthusiasm and Seinfeld.

Game of Thrones. The Office. Entourage. Just to name a few.

And this could be argued for days. Some people may even be throwing their hands up in the air by me even mentioning a few of those shows. I haven’t even seen Game of Thrones or The Wire – so get off my back. I have seen Entourage, and I don’t think it’s the greatest show of all time, or probably shouldn’t even be mentioned with the others. But Entourage does have one of the greatest TV characters of all-time. And so does Breaking Bad.

This is where things get awkward.

“Better Call Saul!”

Saul Goodman cracks me up every time I watch Breaking Bad no matter how many junkies die or cartel members get shot. Bob Odenkirk is brilliant. Then I got to thinking – who else is a great lawyer on a great TV show? That’s right! Ari Gold. Let’s write something comparing lawyers, like who’s the better lawyer on TV. Is it Saul Goodman, “Criminal Lawyer” or is it Ari Gold, “Hollywood Lawyer”? That would be..

Ut oh. Then I remembered Ari Gold isn’t a lawyer. He is a super agent. Damnit. That’s not gonna work.

Or is it?

I did some digging. Ah ha!

AriGold

J.D./M.B.A.? Sounds promising. I got a B.A. What could this be?

JDMBA

Dominant.

I am a stud. I didn’t read all that mumbo jumbo – but he’s basically a lawyer. Yeah he doesn’t play one on TV, but he has a law degree. And that’s all I need to compare the two.

So without further ado, if you’ve stayed with us thus far. The showdown of the TV lawyers. Saul Goodman vs. Ari Gold.

Saul Goodman:

Ari Gold:

Although Ari Gold has a larger body of work, and definitely has a way with a few choice words, Saul Goodman’s clip is short and sweet. He brings humor, although it may be dark humor to a very dark TV show. Ari Gold takes it to the next level. Over the top level. Sometimes necessary, always inappropriately funny.

Bob Odenkirk is a genius. Longtime SNL writer Conan contributor and just the best touch of funny that a show like Breaking Bad needs at the right moments. Remember – this was a show I couldn’t watch before going to bed a few weeks ago.

Jeremy Piven is great. A long time Hollywood douche bag who a lot of people don’t really like. I don’t mind the guy – I mean I after all did graduate from the University of Drake, something even he couldn’t pull of. Ari doesn’t seem like much of a stretch for Piven.

Either way, both are lawyers – I proved that. Both are hysterical, both would be great to sit down with at a bar and even better to help you get out of the clink, if need be. And both will ultimately go down as some of the funniest SOB’s in television history.

Unless the Better Call Saul spinoff is an absolute piece of garbage.

Then I will destroy ever last proof that this post ever existed, Walter White style.

Fall TV Lineup – 7 Nights A Week? // We got you covered.

Standard

Do you watch too much television? Of course you do! Would you like to cut it down a little bit? Of course not! With the leaves changing colors and the weather cooling down a bit, the Fall season is nearing. With Fall brings a new lineup of Television for every day of the week! We’ve got you covered. Here are the 7 shows you should be watching this Fall.

MONDAY

“How I Met Your Mother”

Mondays 8/7c – Season 9 premieres September 23rd

The time has finally come.  The moment we’ve all been waiting for – Barney and Robin’s wedding!  Oh that’s not the main story line heading into the final season of How I Met Your Mother? Right, Ted finally meets the mother of his children. We’ve seen clues since the beginning; the yellow umbrella, love of the bass guitar, and a student in the Economics class that Ted thought he taught. Well now we get to learn all there is to know about her.

TUESDAY

“New Girl”

Tuesdays 10/9c – Season 3 premieres September 17th

I think I can speak for all of us that it was the greatest thing ever that Nick and Jess finally hooked up. It was a long time coming, but I did think it would be a few more seasons before it did happen. Now it should be a nice long bumpy season of hookups and breakups. Maybe they didn’t think this show would last that long? I do recall one of the 17 Wayan brothers being the token black guy on the Pilot Episode, and quickly being replaced by Winston. Either way, like Nick O. who cranks through New Girl episodes like a lesbian at a Teagan and Sarah concert, I am glad New Girl is back!

WEDNESDAY

“Law and Order: SVU”

Wednesdays 10/9c – Season 15 premieres September 25th

Will Elliott return? Will Ice-T take acting classes? Will Richard Belzer finally bring his comedic chops to the show? These are the things that we need to know going into Season 15 of Law and Order: SVU. Maybe we’re a bit bias, seeing at least every show ever made twice – unlike some people who think the show ended 5 years ago, shame on you. But SVU is still one of the best Crime Drama’s on TV. Mariska Hargitay still looks dynamite, and they’re going to do an Anthony Weiner story so poorly it will make you cry. What else do you need?

THURSDAY

“Parks and Recreation”

Thursdays 8/7c – Season 6 premieres September 26th

Ron Swanson. A swan song. I recently listened to a Podcast with the man himself Nick Offerman, he is an absolutely genius. Aziz is back and better than ever and Amy Poehler can do no wrong. Or can she? We were left wondering if the city of Pawnee is better off without Leslie Knope – but what the hell do they know it’s not even a real town (believe me I’ve checked). Being one of the originally believers in Parks and Rec, spreading the good gospel to those who’ve finally turned the corner 5 years later – you better believe we will be planted in front of the TV on Thursday nights.

FRIDAY

“Last Man Standing”

Fridays 8/7c – Season 3 premieres September 20th

This isn’t Home Improvement. But it’s close. Well not really but it’s still pretty good times if you were a lover of Tim the Tool Man Taylor. Instead of 3 boys, he’s got 3 girls.     Remember the good ol’ TGIF? Sabrina the Teenage Witch? Steve Eurkel? Boy Meets World? Good times..

SATURDAY

“Saturday Night Live”

Saturdays 12:30/11:30c – Season 39 premieres September 28th

You read that right. Season freaking 39 of Saturday Night Live. How is Lorne Michaels not the richest man in the world? Oh yeah, SNL has been battling back ever since Will Ferrell, Tina Fey and Jimmy Fallon all left. With another big hit to the cast losing Samberg, Hader, Sudeikis, Armisen and soon to be Myers, it could be another rough few years. But SNL continues to entertain and hits every political topic on the head. A new cast could be just what SNL needs, no heavy hitters, just a bunch of role players. Tina Fey hosts the season premeire and I’m sure we will see plenty of former cast members and celebrity A-listers. Oh, and Miley hosts the second week. Possible train wreck? Yes please.

SUNDAY

“The Walking Dead”

Sundays 9/8c – Season 4 premieres October 13th

Oh boy.

The Greatest Roast of All-Time // Andy Samberg

Standard

I’ve watched a lot of good Celebrity Roasts in my day. Just last week they re-aired The Roast of Donald Trump and I caught it for the 37th time since it debuted. I still can’t watch The Situation though, too damn embarrassing. Poor guy.

A few months back me and my girlfriend decided against going out on a Friday night and instead stay in and watch The Roast of Flavor Flav. It proved to be a wise decision.

One of my All-Time favorite roasts was one that never aired, and can be found on YouTube. The Roast Master General himself tearing apart Shaq at The Roast of Emmitt Smith. I like roasts so much I even have Ross’ book, “I Only Roast The One’s I Love.” Oh so I’m the one guy who bought it?! Zinger.

This past Labor Day weekend was a dandy. A lot of drinking. A lot of partying. A lot of money spent. Come Monday night I was spent and was looking like I was going to have to pass on The Roast of James Franco. But with a College Football game running late and my dog wanting to go outside and sniff butts for the 5th time that night – I made it to 9pm, and once The Roast started, there was no turning back.

At first glance, I was a little nervous at how this roast may go. After reviewing the dais, you realized that these guys weren’t your usual suspects.

No Lisa Lampinelli.

No Anthony Jeselnik.

No Whitney Cummings.

No Buddy Hackett.

No Don Rickles.

Jeff Ross was there. And don’t get me wrong these guys and gals on the dais were heavy hitters, you had some talented actors, stand-up comedians, and improvers. Just not too many roasters. It’s a different sport, don’t let anyone tell you differently. Not just anyone can stand up there and rip someone to shreds. Or so I thought.

Seth Rogen was great. It’s a tough gig being Master of Ceremony, setting the tone for the entire night. Jonah Hill was surprisingly good, he knew he would be – taking the “nice” route. Sarah Silverman’s been there before. She’s a pro. Nick Kroll was dominant, Natasha Leggero was delightful and even Aziz was superb. Jeff Ross is Jeff Ross – he always kills. 20130514_inq_dhdtv14z-a

Then you got Bill Hader and Andy Samberg. The two SNL guys. The two SNL guys who are no longer on SNL. One cranking out T-Mobile Commercials and the other with a NEW Fox show that looks, meh.

At first I wasn’t thrilled with the fact that Bill Hader came out as a character. Eh it’s a roast Bill, let’s see you roast. But it was fun. It’s what he does and as the bit went on, I loved it. Bill Hader is the man. What’s not to love.

And then you had Andy Samberg.

Andy Samberg absolutely slayed. He killed. Andy Samberg was so GD brilliant it was insane.

When Andy came out with his first joke, “I just flew in from New York, and boy are my arms FINE. Because Seth Rogen gave me a ride on his private jet.” I sighed. I was worried. I like Andy. I didn’t like “Hot Rod.” But I like Andy. I thought, “This could be a long seven minutes.”

Boy was I wrong. To most people who enjoy comedy, or have seen Andy on SNL over the years and or have watched a few roasts in there day – you quickly realized what was happening here. Andy was playing all of us so perfectly we didn’t even see it coming. The same guy on SNL who has done this for years on Saturday nights.

This was perfect. It was so perfectly crafted. And it was getting better, and better.

And then the 1:25 mark. And this gem came. “I hate to break it to you Sarah but you’re getting older. You know who else is getting older? My mom. I’m afraid she’s going to die soon. What’s that going to be like?”

I was dying. I was literally bawling on the floor pounding the ground. I thought to myself, “Holy shit. That was awesome. That may have been the best joke of the night.”

The clip shown above, and below again because I love it so much followed Andy’s “lampooning” of Sarah Silverman.

Watch it again. And again. It is so perfect.

He continued to let everyone feel his “wrath” as he approached James Franco. And the coolest thing of the whole night happened. Bill Hader couldn’t contain himself anymore. He couldn’t stop laughing. He just could not stop. For most people who’ve seen SNL at least once with Bill Hader, preferably a skit where he plays Stefon, you know this is not like seeing Halley’s Comet. It happens quite frequently.

It was fantastic.

It was so fantastic because you could see a guy who has seen Andy do this same thing over and over again, probably somewhere close to 100,000 times and he was still in awe of him. The best part of Bill Hader cracking up? You could tell in that spilt second that Andy broke character to say quickly, “Thanks Bill.”

And it was like he was human. But just for that split second before he jumped right back into character to “Kenny Rodgers” roast James Franco.

Andy Samberg is brilliant.

Don’t want to take it from me? How about The Roast Master General himself.

In case you’ve watched the 2 minute YouTube clip 627 times like I have, and you haven’t seen his full set yet. You can check it out here. I highly recommend it.

I’ve seen a lot of roasts. In my personal opinion The Roast of James Franco was up there in one of the bests. I’ve seen Jeff Ross kill it numerous times. But I truly think that Andy’s, excuse me – Mr. Samberg’s set was the greatest roast I have ever seen. It was so perfect words can’t even describe. It makes me upset that I ever doubted him in the first place. He is simply brilliant.

Suck a butt.