The second week in the 2014 NASCAR season is in the books. Mr. Kevin “Happy” Harvick won in the desert and is throwing his weight around in the Stewart-Haas Racing garage. He jumped a spot or two in the power rankings this week, and the one guy people may or may not have expected to be running so damn well at the start of the year isn’t going anywhere. Dale Jr. 1st and 2nd place. Ca’mon boys and girls. Jr. Nation is celebrating tonight!
This week – quotes from maybe the biggest come from behind Oscar winner of all-time, in honor of Matthew McConaghuey.
1. Dale Earnhardt Jr. (LW: 1) – Dallas Buyers Club
Ron Woodroof: Am I fucking dreaming?
2. Kevin Harvick (LW: 4) – Dazed And Confused
Wooderson: Let me tell you what Melba Toast is packin’ right here, all right. We got 4:11 Positrac outback, 750 double pumper, Edelbrock intake, bored over 30, 11 to 1 pop-up pistons, turbo-jet 390 horsepower. We’re talkin’ some fuckin’ muscle.
3. Brad Keselowski (LW: 6) — Ghosts of Girlfriends Past
Connor Mead: I am begging you: don’t run away. You and Paul have something so rare, so powerful! Don’t chicken out now.
4. Jimmie Johnson (LW: 3) – Magic Mike
Dallas: Fact is, the law says you cannot touch!
Dallas: But I think I see a lotta lawbreakers up in this house tonight…
5. Jeff Gordon (LW: 7) – Dazed And Confused
Wooderson: Let me tell you this, the older you get the more rules they’re gonna try to get you to follow. You just gotta keep livin’ man, L-I-V-I-N.
6. Kyle Busch (LW: 5) – Dallas Buyers Club
Ron Woodroof: These fuckers are coming at me, man, from all angles. I wanna file a restraining order.
7. Matt Kenseth (LW: 8) – How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days
Ben: Is that too soon to be seeing a therapist?
8. Denny Hamlin (LW: 2) – We Are Marshall
Jack Lengyel: One day, not today, not tomorrow, not this season, probably not next season either but one day, you and I are gonna wake up and suddenly we’re gonna be like every other team in every other sport where winning is everything and nothing else matters.
9. Joey Logano (LW: NR) – How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days
Ben: That’s what I was, huh? I was your guinea pig, somebody you can test your theories on.
10. Carl Edwards (LW: NR) – Tropic Thunder
Rick Peck: How’s the adoption thing going?
Tugg Speedman: Not good.
Rick Peck: At least you get to choose yours. I’m stuck with mine.
Clint Bowyer (LW: HM) – Fool’s Gold
Ben ‘Finn’ Finnegan: Hey, boats sink! No one knows why!