The Greatest Roast of All-Time // Andy Samberg


I’ve watched a lot of good Celebrity Roasts in my day. Just last week they re-aired The Roast of Donald Trump and I caught it for the 37th time since it debuted. I still can’t watch The Situation though, too damn embarrassing. Poor guy.

A few months back me and my girlfriend decided against going out on a Friday night and instead stay in and watch The Roast of Flavor Flav. It proved to be a wise decision.

One of my All-Time favorite roasts was one that never aired, and can be found on YouTube. The Roast Master General himself tearing apart Shaq at The Roast of Emmitt Smith. I like roasts so much I even have Ross’ book, “I Only Roast The One’s I Love.” Oh so I’m the one guy who bought it?! Zinger.

This past Labor Day weekend was a dandy. A lot of drinking. A lot of partying. A lot of money spent. Come Monday night I was spent and was looking like I was going to have to pass on The Roast of James Franco. But with a College Football game running late and my dog wanting to go outside and sniff butts for the 5th time that night – I made it to 9pm, and once The Roast started, there was no turning back.

At first glance, I was a little nervous at how this roast may go. After reviewing the dais, you realized that these guys weren’t your usual suspects.

No Lisa Lampinelli.

No Anthony Jeselnik.

No Whitney Cummings.

No Buddy Hackett.

No Don Rickles.

Jeff Ross was there. And don’t get me wrong these guys and gals on the dais were heavy hitters, you had some talented actors, stand-up comedians, and improvers. Just not too many roasters. It’s a different sport, don’t let anyone tell you differently. Not just anyone can stand up there and rip someone to shreds. Or so I thought.

Seth Rogen was great. It’s a tough gig being Master of Ceremony, setting the tone for the entire night. Jonah Hill was surprisingly good, he knew he would be – taking the “nice” route. Sarah Silverman’s been there before. She’s a pro. Nick Kroll was dominant, Natasha Leggero was delightful and even Aziz was superb. Jeff Ross is Jeff Ross – he always kills. 20130514_inq_dhdtv14z-a

Then you got Bill Hader and Andy Samberg. The two SNL guys. The two SNL guys who are no longer on SNL. One cranking out T-Mobile Commercials and the other with a NEW Fox show that looks, meh.

At first I wasn’t thrilled with the fact that Bill Hader came out as a character. Eh it’s a roast Bill, let’s see you roast. But it was fun. It’s what he does and as the bit went on, I loved it. Bill Hader is the man. What’s not to love.

And then you had Andy Samberg.

Andy Samberg absolutely slayed. He killed. Andy Samberg was so GD brilliant it was insane.

When Andy came out with his first joke, “I just flew in from New York, and boy are my arms FINE. Because Seth Rogen gave me a ride on his private jet.” I sighed. I was worried. I like Andy. I didn’t like “Hot Rod.” But I like Andy. I thought, “This could be a long seven minutes.”

Boy was I wrong. To most people who enjoy comedy, or have seen Andy on SNL over the years and or have watched a few roasts in there day – you quickly realized what was happening here. Andy was playing all of us so perfectly we didn’t even see it coming. The same guy on SNL who has done this for years on Saturday nights.

This was perfect. It was so perfectly crafted. And it was getting better, and better.

And then the 1:25 mark. And this gem came. “I hate to break it to you Sarah but you’re getting older. You know who else is getting older? My mom. I’m afraid she’s going to die soon. What’s that going to be like?”

I was dying. I was literally bawling on the floor pounding the ground. I thought to myself, “Holy shit. That was awesome. That may have been the best joke of the night.”

The clip shown above, and below again because I love it so much followed Andy’s “lampooning” of Sarah Silverman.

Watch it again. And again. It is so perfect.

He continued to let everyone feel his “wrath” as he approached James Franco. And the coolest thing of the whole night happened. Bill Hader couldn’t contain himself anymore. He couldn’t stop laughing. He just could not stop. For most people who’ve seen SNL at least once with Bill Hader, preferably a skit where he plays Stefon, you know this is not like seeing Halley’s Comet. It happens quite frequently.

It was fantastic.

It was so fantastic because you could see a guy who has seen Andy do this same thing over and over again, probably somewhere close to 100,000 times and he was still in awe of him. The best part of Bill Hader cracking up? You could tell in that spilt second that Andy broke character to say quickly, “Thanks Bill.”

And it was like he was human. But just for that split second before he jumped right back into character to “Kenny Rodgers” roast James Franco.

Andy Samberg is brilliant.

Don’t want to take it from me? How about The Roast Master General himself.

In case you’ve watched the 2 minute YouTube clip 627 times like I have, and you haven’t seen his full set yet. You can check it out here. I highly recommend it.

I’ve seen a lot of roasts. In my personal opinion The Roast of James Franco was up there in one of the bests. I’ve seen Jeff Ross kill it numerous times. But I truly think that Andy’s, excuse me – Mr. Samberg’s set was the greatest roast I have ever seen. It was so perfect words can’t even describe. It makes me upset that I ever doubted him in the first place. He is simply brilliant.

Suck a butt.


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